I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
