dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
