Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
