I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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