Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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