She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
