Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
