Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
