turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
