Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
