Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My liver just broke up with me...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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