i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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