TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
