if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
