What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
