What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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