This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
