Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
