At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
