PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
