My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
