ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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