I hate your face
My pussy is not your playground.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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