New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
