We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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