Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
