Sry I called you an 8
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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