There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
