you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she told me i tasted like america
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
