Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
