This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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