I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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