And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
