I'm really into asian looking animals
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
