I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
