Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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