SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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