Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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