He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i love accidental penises.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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