you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
