Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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