Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
