all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Randomize
