good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
