okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
