My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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