It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
