so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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