last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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