But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
