I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
