i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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