garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
