Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize