Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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